Day 04- A song that makes you cry.

Right, I don't have just one song, but I have three... because they all sort of fit together with this story that i read once. One of my favourites in all the world. Sometimes just thinking about that fic makes me cry, and I'm being totally serious. It just broke my heart in to pieces, and that is why I love it with all my heart. Seriously, just looking through it now, almost makes me feel sick. if you want to read it, you can find it here. i'd recommend it. you'll get a peak into my favourite fandom and my otp! jajajajaja!
Okay, so here they are:

Run - Snow Patrol

to think i might not see those eyes
makes it so hard not to cry
and as we say our long goodbye
i nearly do

Signs - Bloc Party (you should have guessed!)

I could sleep forever these days because in my dreams I see you again
But this time fleshed out fuller face in your confirmation dress
It was so like you to visit me to let me know you were ok
It was so like you visit me, always worrying about someone else

Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

and if you were with me tonight,
i’d sing to you just one more time.
a song for a heart so big,
god wouldn’t let it live.

I just read it again now... I thought I wasn't going to cry this time, but here i am; tears rolling down my cheeks and a runny nose. The last part of it always gets to me. Always. Maybe its just me, maybe my imagination is just too active, but to me, she has written this so perfectly that i just feel everything as if i was the one who lost someone, you know? I can't really explain it to be honest. I just... it just makes me feel so much. You can just identify with Fernando... or at least I can. You know that feeling when something is just so horrible and so sad and your chest feels so so tight that you can't breathe and all you want to do is throw up? that's how it makes me feel.

But yeah, these three songs have a tendency of making me really emotional, but not only because of this fic, but just in general. They are all rather sad. i have never really been a huge fan of Snow Patrol, I'm still not to be honest, but this song, in the quiet hours of the night can move me to tears. again, with my imagination... i just imagine the situation, and put my self in it, and as i'm listening to that song, it is happening to me... i don't know how to explain in another way.
This fic is the reason i started listening to Bloc Party, actually. I heard Signs, but I didn't actually like it the first time, because i couldn't hear the lyric properly, but now, as you might now, it is one of my all time favourite songs. I simply don't understand how people cannot like this song. it is impossibly beautiful, and utterly sad. And i, of course, love Bloc Party. they have really meaningful lyric in general, which is my cup of tea. i wish they would have a reunion!
Here You Me is incredibly sad. Like Signs, it was written for a friend who died, I believe (but i'm not 100% sure so you know), and that makes it really powerful.

They are all perfect funeral songs really... and they are all my favourite songs... i'm not sure what that actually says about me... a bit worrying!

Because my days are pretty shit and this made me smile.

Because I can't wait for later today when La Furia Roja meets up at Las Rozas. This is basically going to be me during the call up

Um. So. Yeah. I'm procrastinating again because I don't want to start revising right after I just had an exam.

Had my exam. Um. yeah. that was fun.

I don't know. it went okay. Nothing more than that if I'm lucky. The questions kind of fucked me over a bit. Because i wanted Simmel and I got Simmel, but not the question I wanted about the stranger or the metroplis or fashion or anything.

So I did the question on Weber and the rise of capitalism something something resulted in 'desenchantment of the world'. Which I kinda knew about and wrote a few pages on.

Um. Then I jumped to the last section (there were three questions and three hours) and choose the Latour question about how non-human was important to sociology. Eh. Don't actually know if what I wrote here made sense, but I ranted about technologies and cyborgs and whatnot. And about commodities.

From the second section I choose the Bourdieu question about habitus, because really, there was no way I could answer the Simmel question. Bad times. Um. I did write a few pages, but not too much. I don't know.

And like, you see people write a billion pages, going on the third booklet while you're on your first and you're totally like: fuck fuck fuuuuuuck. And I never learn either, that's the thing. So I always look around. And then I panic.

Also, because its actually so sad and pathetic that its turned funny, but like, I have one friend in my course. 2 years, and only one person I talk to. How much of a massive fail is that? But yay, we're doing two (at least) of the same subjects next year. Which is good. Because I need someone to talk to. And kill time with. And yeah. We get on quite well, which is a surprise. It used to be lots of awkwardness.

Don't want to revise, but I just realise that there is nothing better to do really. Um yeah. So, i'm gonna go and talk to Jess about the next exam. And be like, what are you revising? Okay.